It may seem irrational to some but in my head it makes perfect sense. I think it stems from a few different factors. Here it is: I'm afraid of scaring boys, as in prospective dates, off. I hate approaching them to ask them to do something with/for me (or even simply talk to them for that matter) for fear that they will think I'm being too forward, or that I'm desperate or something. But if I just sit back and relax then nothing happens. Ever.
Here's what I think causes it: 1. It has happened in the past that I've approached a boy and then never heard from him again, I really have no idea whether or not it was because of me, but it happened and my brain forms a cause and effect between me approaching the boy and him never talking to me again. 2. I don't like to be a burden. I don't like to annoy people. I don't want people to feel obligated to be my friend or take me out on dates or whatever it may be. I don't want to be an inconvenience. 3. Any kind of new social situation makes me nervous and that nervousness lessens or intensifies depending on who I'm talking to.
But I also know that I don't put myself out there enough, I don't get out of my comfort zone. I haven't tried hard enough. Why? Because it's uncomfortable. And, how is a boy to know how hard it is for me? They probably don't. I mean, to me it's some big thing but to them it's just some girl talking. Maybe that's the attitude I need to take. I'm just talking to some boy.
6 comments:
I love you! And all I have to say is... it is ok to get out of your bubble once and a while... but you dont need to change your personality and try to become a bubbly talk to every thing that walks kind of person.
Look at your patriarchical (cant spell that one) blessing and see if that will alleviate some concerns about the whole boy thing. Hope this helps Jen
boys smoys.... seriously the world would be a happier peaceful place if they didn't exist! well except for the small detail that if they didn't exist we wouldn't exist either. Man its a hard life! but seriously your amazing and i love you.... and i'm coming over to watch robin hood with you RIGHT NOW!!!
Wow! That is complicated. Treat them like your brother and they usually understand that because they have sisters. Plus it is a lot less nerve wracking to talk to your brother. You're great just like you are!
I can totally relate. Who even knows how I ended up married. It is a mystery, and a miracle.
It's hard to get out of your comfort zone!
I'll bet some boys are just as nervous to talk to you as you are to talk to them!
And then most of them are just clueless.
There is one boy in your life who loves you the most. I think you know who he is!
Sara, just be yourself. I know it's not just that simple. But I've seen your true self and you are awesome to be around. It's just a matter of doing it around strangers. I know a great story to break the ice...just tell them about the time you were taking a shower with your cousin and you both slipped and your cousin almost ended up on top of you. That will do the trick.
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